Go West, Young Zombie!

Have they moved Halloween to April? I've been getting some pretty weird emails thin month. Sure, I hear from a few freaks and head cases every month, but April has been decidedly strange. This week I'll be offering advice to a young lad who may have called forth the zombie apocalypse we've all been hearing about. Let's see how it all turns out.

Oh yeah, before we get to that, I should mention that I've gotten into the occasional legal scrape in the past, so my lawyer says that I have to tell you some boring legal stuff. I hate that guy!Here's the deal:

I'm not your therapist. In fact I'm not a therapist at all. I am not licensed and never went to college. Hell, they won't even give me a fishing license; you think they're going to give me unfettered access to antipsychotic meds? I only do this column to amuse myself at your expense.

Follow any advice you find here at your own peril. I just make this shit up as I go along, people. Read it all you want. Bookmark it, share it, whatever; but if you're dumb enough to actually take my advice, you deserve whatever you get.