My inbox has been inundated with letters from fans seeking
advice. Who am I to deprive you of my genius, life experience, and genius (Yes,
I know I said genius twice). But before I answer any question or offer my
invaluable advice, we need to get a couple of things taken care of, right up
front. Here's the deal:
I'm not your therapist. In fact I'm not a therapist at all.
I am not licensed and never went to college. They won't even give me a fishing
license; you think they're going to give me unfettered access to antipsychotic
meds? Hell no! I only do this column to amuse myself at your expense.
Follow any advice you find here at your own peril. I just
make this shit up as I go along, people. Read it all you want. Bookmark it,
share it, whatever; but if you're dumb enough to actually take my advice, you
deserve whatever you get.